Nicholas Made the Decision for Us!

We have decided not to pursue the Foster Parent thing....at least not right now. Through a series of events that have all happened in the time between the orientation meeting and now, it has become quite clear that this is not the route we should be taking. I asked for clarity....I got it. More clarity than I actually wanted. More like a slap in the face.

First of all, the night of the first mandatory training session, I have a conflict. I need to be in several different places at once. I went around and around trying to figure out how I will register Sophie for Faith Formation class which she needs to make her First Communion, pick Tony up from football practice, pick Claire up from gym, feed everyone and attend a 3 hour training session all at the same time on the same day while dragging Nick and Sophie along for the ride. Impossible. That was the first obstacle...not huge and certainly I can call in the reinforcements. but do I want to? No.

Second, one night last week we were blessed by the opportunity to babysit the adorable 16 month old daughter of a friend. We jumped at the chance to have a little one in the house, even for just for a few hours. She is a doll. Well....I had forgotten how all-encompassing a toddler can be. Nicholas in turn became loud, whiny, demanding and needy. He kept trying to divert his sisters' attention to him and pretty much ignored the little girl and me. Not a desirable response on his part at all. Marty and Tony came home from football practice wondering where was dinner. Dinner?? How could I finish making dinner while entertaining a toddler and a needy 4 yr. old? I used to do it all of the time, but I am seriously out of practice. I should add that during the babysitting time, Claire dropped a glass bowl on the kitchen floor which shattered in a million pieces sending shards of glass flying everywhere. Not a big deal but with a barely walking toddler in the house. uh oh!! This reminded me that we would have to put baby locks on all of the lower cabinets and re-arrange everything just to be on the safe side. The girls took her outside while I cleaned up the glass and had to watch her like hawks around the pool. Another issue to worry about.

The most serious and really what made up our minds was a recent change in Nicholas' behavior. We know he has some obstacles to overcome. He is impulsive and has some anger issues. He is super smart but just reacts to things differently and is quite unpredictable. With school starting for the 3 oldest, Nick's behavior took a nose dive. He did a lot of crazy things that I have not seen him do in a long time. He always acts up at the change of our schedule. This time was a doozy. Horrible behavior all week! Behavior which demonstrated that he still needs my full attention. I think it would be too rough on him all around. Yesterday we all spent an hour cleaning the girls' room carpet after he drew all over it with a purple marker. Not just small marks but huge hula hoop sized circles on every spot of exposed carpet. This was just one example of the stuff this kid did last week. Hopefully it will not last too long. He starts school next Wednesday. Then he will be on a regular schedule, too. God Bless his new teacher!!! (She will need it.)

I have also had the flu since Friday and we killed another rattlesnake in the yard, this time he had the balls to be hanging out in a planter right next to the pool. Not big deals, but I'm just sayin'.....

See what I'm getting at? Clarity with a capital "C."

First Meeting-check

Okay, so I attended the first Foster Parent informational meeting. There were about 20 folks in attendance. Several couples, the rest women. Mostly about my age, a few younger. I was kind of surprised, I thought there would not be that many people there. I have to say that I was quite impressed with the organization of the whole event. Perfect power-point presentation, lots of information in brightly illustrated folders, name tags, snacks, tear-jerking dvd at the end. Very politically correct and governmental. I must admit that if we chose to do this, the county has it all "goin-on." They have every base covered. Not a penny comes out of pocket from us and I can attend all of the classes myself leaving Marty home to mind the kids. He just has to be fingerprinted, that's it. The only thing we have to do here at home is make sure the smoke detectors are working and put up the pool fence.

I just do not know if my heart is strong enough for all of this. We have decided if we do it to only take kids younger than Nicky. He is 4.5 years old. That is the age where there is the greatest number of kids who get put into Foster care anyway, although many of them are sibling groups, which we are not going to have. The thought of having a "baby" here for a few months and the nurturing and bonding that will occur, then having to surrender that child back to an unpredictable home just makes my stomach turn. The primary goal of the Foster care system is to re-unite children with their bio-families. I understand this concept, but....here's where I am not so good, most of these kids just go in and out of the system their whole childhoods. It seems like the system is working for the parents and not the for the kids.

We still have not decided what to do. I do think I would benefit from the training. It is 3 hours a week for 8 weeks and it is not far from our home. Maybe I will go ahead and do the training and see where it leads. Not a huge time commitment. After all is said and done, I may have more clarity. Any thoughts would be appreciated.

Summer Recap

Summer is almost over--Boo Hoo! I do not think I have much to say except that we had a great time.

June: Beach Camping weekend, Girls trip to Vegas for Mommy

July: Lake Tahoe with the Moto' Homies, Kauai with my side of the family

August: UCLA Camp and Claire's B-day, Football Season has begun!

Back to school in 11 days.

I am still being begged by one particular student to be home-schooled this year. Have not decided yet.

I will be attending an orientation meeting next week to find out about becoming a Foster Care provider in our county. This is not the road I would have ever chosen for our family, but the only road my husband will consider. So....off I go.