This is Nicholas on his first day of Pre-school this September. Such a Big Boy!!
These are the first photos we ever saw of Nicholas, we think he was about 11 months old here. These were unofficial referral photos sent to us by our agency. Did we want him? "OH YEAH!! We want him! Are you kidding me? "Look at those eyes!! Look at that smile! I took pictures of these with my digital camera since all we had were prints. Check out the beautiful lady who works in the baby house. Isn't she gorgeous?
We are nearing our 3 year "Gotcha Day" for Nicholas. It is so hard to believe that it has already been three years. It seems impossible that it was 3 years ago that we first met him. In ways it seems like yesterday and in other ways it seems as if he has always been with us. I know that when he is not with me, I feel like something, a piece of me is missing. Maybe it is because he is the baby of the family or maybe it is because he has the kind of disposition that warrants me to always know where he is and what he is doing.
Our attachment and bonding has been fairly textbook for a kid who was institutionalized for the first 13 months of his life. He bonded to us easily, but there have been and probably always will be bumps in the road. He still will run off in a crowd without looking back. He did this just last weekend at a birthday party at an extremely over crowded and noisy indoor playground. The other kids his age were sticking to their mom's like glue. Not Nick, he was off and running. I could not even find him at one point. I knew he could not get out of the building but it is still an uneasy feeling. He is fearless and does crazy stuff for an almost 4-year old.
He still exhibits indiscriminate affection. He will go with anyone at all. Most people think it is so cute, "He is so out-going and lovable." I still think he could leave and move into a whole new family without missing us at all. I hope I am exaggerating, but it still breaks my heart to think about. He talks to anyone and everyone, will go up and ask to share food or drink with total strangers and sit down and play with any kid no matter the age. Most people have no idea that this is all typical of a kid with some kind of attachment issue.
We still struggle with direct eye-contact at times. He will look away if he is at all feeling stressed or like he is in trouble. He still bonks his head into the wall or slaps himself in the head if he has to go on a time-out. This happens very rarely anymore, but it does happen, even after three years.
I do not want to sound like he has not made progress. He has made SO MUCH progress. He is huggy and affectionate. He snuggles and kisses without being asked. He loves to fall asleep with me in our big bed. He prefers to be with me as opposed to most anyone else, except maybe Grandpa Donut or his God-Brother Sean who is 13. He tells me he loves me and my favorite line which I hear almost daily... "I very like you and you are my best friend." He lights up when his siblings arrive home from school. He wants his daddy when mom won't let him have a cookie before dinner. He actually came to me the other day asking for a band-aid. He had a little scab on his foot that he scratched off. It was bleeding a little bit. He came to me for help. Usually when he gets hurt, he just deals with it, himself. He will have "owies" that I never know how they happened. He actually wanted me to clean his foot this time and put a band aid on it. Amazing!!! Monumental, in fact. He loves us---I know that, but we still struggle with his little quirks that I know are related to his attachment or lack thereof. We love him for who he is....he is fine. He is ours. He is the bomb!!!
Three years, I can't believe it. Wait until you hear about the Russian Feast I prepare for The Gotcha Day Festivities!! YUMMY!!
